Thursday, April 18, 2013

P is for Prologue (and Pearl)

Prologue - Darkness

That was all Gabe could hear. It was a welcome change from the voice that seemed to be screaming at him ever since he touched the Pearl. At first he thought it had been his own thoughts. It wasn’t strange for angry thoughts to flood his mind especially when he was feeling stressed or frightened. But these thoughts had begun to frighten him. The level of violence he was imagining was unlike anything he had experienced before but it wasn’t until they turned to his brother that he knew that something was horribly wrong.
Gabe had tried to stop himself but it was as though another force had taken over. He had seen Finn asleep by the camp fire as though watching through someone else’s eyes. But those were his hands that slipped quietly to the bag that sat at Luna’s side, sliding his fingertips in and pulling out the short dagger she had brought along for protection. He was helpless to do anything, even as he knelt on top of his brother’s chest, squeezing the breath out of him. Finn’s eyes opened in disbelief, even as Gabe wanted to scream and push his own body off onto the ground. It was too late when the warm blood gushed over his own hands and he fell back, then, Luna’s screams echoing in his head as he took off at a run.
I didn’t do this. It wasn’t me. Oh gods, Finn, I’m’ sorry!

Word Count: 6522

So, I jumped to the beginning of the story since I had this idea for a different scene that wouldn't fit in the current chapter. Nothing says I can't jump around and write different scenes as I go. This one is turning out to be a bit more difficult to write than the first one. Maybe it's just that I have far more responsibilities than I did back in November, plus, I may be working too much with this one story. I'm starting to get the "I really like this story, but I'm not sure I'm telling it right" vibe. That could be a sign I should swap to something else.

For the moment, I'm pressing on! I can always swap to something new after April.


  1. May I suggest a break in text ... there is a big chunk of narative (hard on the eyes) going for some durration.

    But ... having said that ... this is good, and you're right, there's no rule saying you can't jump to the beginning.

    Thanks for sharing. Takes courage to put your writing out there.

    Silvia @ Silvia Writes

  2. I love 'vibes', and where they can take us to but given what I have just read and your comment about thinking you are working too much on one story, I'm reminded me of the acronym for doubt I once learned. DOUBT - Driving Ourselves Unconscious By Thinking - (I'm not sure if that applies to you at all but now I have shared it) I say stick with the first part of your vibe and if you get anymore good ideas use them.